Many IELTS test-takers struggle with logical coherence in their essays, which holds them back from reaching Band 7+. In this post, we’ll analyze a real student’s Band 5.5 essay, identify 4 common logic mistakes, and show how to fix them for a higher score.
📌 Student’s Essay (Task 2 Question)
Topic: Some people believe that governments should fund arts programs, while others think this money should be spent on public services. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Body Paragraph (Band 5.5):
“Arts are important because they make people happy. Many people enjoy music and painting, so the government should give them money. Public services like hospitals are also important, but arts help mental health. That’s why I think arts should get funding.”
🔍 4 Common Logic Errors & Fixes
❌ Error 1: Overgeneralization
❎ “Arts make people happy.” → This is too broad. Not everyone enjoys the same art forms.
✅ Fix: Be specific and use evidence.
📌 Improved: “Engaging in creative activities, such as community theater or public art exhibitions, has been shown to reduce stress and improve emotional well-being (Source: WHO, 2022). Thus, arts funding can enhance citizens’ quality of life.”
❌ Error 2: Weak Cause-Effect Link
❎ “Arts help mental health, so they should get funding.” → No clear connection.
✅ Fix: Explain how arts improve mental health and why that justifies funding.
📌 Improved: “Public arts programs provide accessible mental health benefits by offering stress-relief activities, which can reduce long-term healthcare costs. Therefore, investing in arts may indirectly support public health.”
❌ Error 3: Ignoring Counterarguments
❎ The paragraph dismisses public services too quickly.
✅ Fix: Acknowledge the opposing view before refuting it.
📌 Improved: “While public services like hospitals address immediate physical needs, arts programs tackle long-term societal well-being. A balanced approach could allocate funds to both, as they serve complementary roles.”
❌ Error 4: Unsupported Opinion
❎ “That’s why I think arts should get funding.” → No justification.
✅ Fix: Use data, examples, or logical reasoning.
📌 Improved: “Given that arts programs yield measurable social benefits—such as lower crime rates in communities with public art (Source: Journal of Urban Studies, 2021)—governments should allocate at least partial funding to them.”
📝 Rewritten Band 7+ Paragraph
“While public services like healthcare are undeniably vital, arts programs also deserve government funding due to their proven societal benefits. Research indicates that community-based arts initiatives, such as public concerts and free art workshops, significantly improve mental health by reducing stress and fostering social connections (WHO, 2022). These benefits may ultimately lessen the burden on public healthcare systems. Admittedly, limited budgets require careful prioritization; however, a modest investment in the arts could yield long-term economic and social returns, making it a worthwhile complement to essential services.”
💡 Key Takeaways for Band 7+ Logic
- Avoid sweeping statements → Use specific examples/data.
- Explain cause-effect chains → Show how A leads to B.
- Address counterarguments → Balance discussion for Task Achievement.
- Support opinions → Cite studies, trends, or logical reasoning.
🔧 Practice Task
Rewrite this weak argument with better logic:
“Social media is bad because people waste time. Governments should ban it.”
(Post your rewrite in the comments for feedback!)
